Thoughts on Marriage

Friday, June 28, 2013

Photos by Alexa Loy

So in 3 and a half weeks, Dave and I will be married.


the thing about planning a wedding, is that it becomes all about the day. The decorations, the food, the dress, who's coming, the reception. But it's not just one day really, is it? It's a commitment you make to someone, to stay with them forever. I mean... FOREVER!

Dave and I met while we were still at university. I was at Roehampton in London and he was at Bournemouth in... yeah. Bournemouth! We met on a night out in London and became pretty inseparable straight away. I moved to Bournemouth for my last year of University so I could live with Dave as the drive between us was insane! After we had both graduated, we moved to London and rented a flat together in Twickenham. I loved Twickenham. We both loved our jobs and our ridiculously expensive one bed flat. But things changed when I became pregnant!

Having a baby before we are married has definitely made me a lot more confident about marriage. Having a baby is difficult. It changes the whole dynamics of a relationship. Suddenly, there is this thing (literally) in between you. And all your energy and love goes into helping this little baby. You lose sight of each other, you are forced to grow up and be responsible (you don't know responsibility before you have a baby!) and this inevitably causes tension. On top of that, Dave was promoted and it became possible for me to stay at home with Alice. So our roles were completely changed, Dave being the one taking care of us financially and me taking care of our baby and house (and dinner every night, and the washing and ironing, and everything in between...).

Having a baby brings out the best in you and the worst. And I mean, the absolute worst. Being up all night with a screaming baby causes arguments, and it is difficult to actually find time to resolve those arguments because babies don't wait for you to make up!

But we survived. And not only that, we are definitely a stronger couple because of it. And our life goals and aspirations have changed. We know that we want a sibling for Alice. We know that we want me to stay at home with them for the first few years before returning to work. We know that we want to retire to Dorset and buy a sailing boat when we are 70!

If we can survive having a baby, surely we can survive anything together?

Marriage. To be honest, it sounds like a piece of cake to me!



  1. Agreed. It is so rough and yet so good for a relationship...having a baby. Crazy! :) Cheers.

  2. Wow only 3 weeks! I hope you have your dream day and everything runs smoothly.

  3. Ooh you watch, everyone will be asking after your wedding 'when is the next one due'? :)
    Its hard having two small children, there are only 19 months between my girls but I really can't wait to watch them grow up together. Nice to have your children close in age I think so don't leave it too long ;-) x


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