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Monday, September 23, 2013

The Dummy Debate

When I was pregnant, I really had no idea what kind of parent I would be. I could guess, or dream about what I would be like, but I actually had no clue. My plan was to just relax and go with the flow. I had a brilliant childhood with great parents, so I just kind of hoped it would all just fall into place.

But there was one thing that I was sure of before I had her. I was going to allow her to have a dummy. I just knew I was, and I didn't see it as a big deal at all. I think this is probably because I had a dummy myself until I was about 3. In fact, most parents I know give their young children dummies. It wasn't until i started this blog that I realise there was a debate about these things, a differing of opinions. There seems to be a massive dislike for the dummy out there and the need to get your child off of it asap.

I just don't feel that way. Giving Alice a dummy was my choice, and I stand by that choice!

In response to questions about when I give her a dummy... I don't really have any restrictions. I allow Alice to make her own decision to either have it in or not. And as it happens, Alice will usually only want it if she is going to sleep, feeling tired or ill or going on a long car journey. In fact, more recently she has started refusing it for bedtime, which is great. I just go with her and hopefully she will wean herself off of it. If not, I would rather wait until she is at an age where she can understand a little more about why she can't have it all the time. I like the idea of the "dummy fairy" coming to take them away and leaving a little gift, like a big girls cup and cutlery set or something.

Don't forget that the pictures I put up on this blog are a very small snippet of our lives. As it happens, this blog is becoming more and more personal and lifestyle orientated. This has ultimately led me to be far more selective about what pictures and things I share and what things I keep private. Alice does not have a dummy all the time, she just has it in most of the pictures!

And if you think you are seeing my whole life, then yay! That's pretty much what I am trying to portray and I am very happy it is coming across that way!

xx

21 comments:

  1. Ava has a dummy too. I myself had one. I tend to find it's the older generation who don't approve (my nan being one of them!) I'm the same as you, I'm pretty relaxed about it although she tends to have it in the evenings and for car journeys.x

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    1. I had a dummy when I was little. The most important thing to me is that Alice is happy. And if people would judge less, that would be great too! Hehe! xx

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  2. Before I was pregnant I was fairly anti-dummys however once my first DD arrived I quickly changed my mind ! She just used it for sleeping and gave it up around 18 months by herself. Very cute picture x

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    1. Hehe! Alice is sort of giving it up now too. She tends to spit it out on the floor and I have to go and rescue it before it gets lost and we have a bedtime meltdown at 7! xx

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  3. Im not sure if you know, I dedicated a post to you last month after spotting a comment on your blog regarding Alice's dummy. I feel its quite insensitive for people to pass judgement especially when they don't know you or Alice & to remain anonymous is even more cowardly. Anyway, lovely post as always, hope Alice recovers from her cold soon.
    Here is my post ... http://itsalwaysdarkestbeforethedawn1.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/dummies-and-babies.html xx

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    1. I have just seen your post, and I completely agree. There are so many things I have been judged on, dummies was just one I am willing to address. I often get the odd email criticising me on something or other, and to be honest most of it goes over my head!
      Thank you for being such a supportive reader though. I really appreciate it and your comments always make me smile! xx

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    1. Thanks! I rare moment that she was sitting still and in good lighting! xx

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  5. Good post. I must admit that pre Baby E I was 'not going to use a dummy'. But Baby E was a 'sucky' little thing and took to it like a dream....and that is that...it is not for everyone but what a SHAME that someone had the audacity to make a comment regarding Alice's dummy (didn't see it but read from comment above).
    It is your child and that is that.
    I must say we don't call Baby Es a 'dummy' because I think the name has a negative connotation. Instead we call it her SOOO SOOO (Soother for short) because I much prefer the name us Canadians give it than a DUMMY
    XO XO

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    1. There were so many things I was NEVER going to do with Alice before I actually had her! How it all changes when they come along!
      I honestly never actually thought about the name dummy. We actually call it, "Doo doo" for some strange reason, I didn't realise we did until I thought about it! xx

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  6. I had it in my head that I was going to give Rio a dummy, but he was having none of it! Constantly spat/whacked it out..even now he just pulls it out and says no (I tried to use it as a teething aid). If your child is soothed by a dummy..so be it :) people are too judgemental these days. Gorgeous post..and I personally love that your blog is personal, theres very few of those out there lately x

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    1. Hehe! My friend's baby never took to a dummy either, but he is attached to his beaker now instead!
      I'm glad you enjoy my blog. I really do enjoy writing it! xx

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  7. Annabelle has a dummy too but thankfully she's makes up her own mind when she wants/needs it. Which is generally just for bedtime at night and the occasional "I'm starving and in this blasted buggy" times! haha. Fab post and Alice is looking smashing as usual! x

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  8. Calleigh is so attached to her dummy. I recently did a post about it too because we are thinking of starting to wean her off it a little. I don't see why it is such a big thing to debate, surely it is, and should always be, the parents own choice whether or not they give their child a dummy. We were warned off it by a few other parents we knew but gave her one anyway. I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I've had a lot of comments off family regarding pictures of Calleigh with a dummy in her mouth all the time, I think I let it get to me a bit which is why we are trying to wean her off it. At her own pace of course.

    Beki x

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    1. I was warned off giving her a dummy by the health visitor! I felt so guilty for a while, but then I just thought, "What the heck, it's my child and my choice!" I don't feel guilty about giving her a dummy, and neither should you! They're not going to have them when they're our age... hopefully! xx

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  9. Amelia has a dummy too. She's never really needed one as such but i do give her it to keep her quiet if she is fussy or around bed time but she will more often than not go without it. But i have nothing against them. I will let her wean herself off it as it's not causing any problems. x

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    1. I'm going to let Alice wean off it in her own time I think. She does without it in the day now, but if she cried for it I wouldn't really see a problem with letting her have it for a bit. There are far worse tantrums to be had...! xx

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  10. I really don't think it's anyone's but the parents choice what they do with their baby with dummies/sleeping/feeding etc and other people really need to stop voicing opinions that aren't very nice or helpful to other people, especially anonymously. Everyone has different things that they like/don't like and what will and won't work for their babies and the parents of each child know best what to do. My son is 4 months and he has a dummy and it has been really good for when he's a bit upset and he needs to calm down. He also has it to bed. I've read that dummies are good for helping with SIDS as it can help regulate their breathing whilst asleep. Sorry for the minor rant, haha! xx

    Curls & Swirls Beauty Blog

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    1. I read that too! I agree, it really is up to the parents. It's funny how a lot of parent's aren't very supportive of other's choices when it comes to raising children. I wish that wasn't the case xx

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  11. None of mine would ever take one! I'd give it to them, they'd figure out it wasn't producing anything and out it was spat. I tried, it would have been so much nicer at times. I see no problem with them and think others are just being difficult when they voice negative opinions. Alice is beautiful, you have a lovely family!

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