5 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A NEW MUM

Having a new baby is hard. Being a new mum is hard. But having to deal with comments from people who just don't seem to be able to put themselves into your shoes. Now that's really hard! I've devised a short list of things NOT to say to a new mum. Just in case anyone is stuck...

1. He looks so big! How did he come out of you? If you're looking for an actual second by second account, it's not gonna happen. All babies are big, squishy, chubby... and we're also wondering how the hell it came out of us! So lets just leave the birth as a distant hazy drug-induced memory in the past and start using all those cute little hats we bought.

2. He feeds/sleeps/cries a lot, doesn't he? I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were the baby expert. Please, continue to spout out your unwanted advice while I have a quick nap! (Ok, that came out waaay more angrily than intended. But I have had that one a lot...).

3. You look tired. Are you taking care of yourself? Um... no. I'm mainly concentrating on keeping this mini human I just pushed out of me alive. But thanks for noticing.

4. He looks like an alien. Yes, may be true. Yes, I may be thinking this too. But if you don't tell me my baby is the cutest thing alive, we can no longer be friends. Kapeesh?!

5. He looks like you. Um, no. He looks like an alien. Are you blind?

What's been said to you as a new mum thats, to be frank, pissed you off?! I'd love to hear them! xx