I was looking back at my blog the other day and came across these pictures. And I just remember this day so clearly. It was a rainy day and Alice had a cold. Our old house used to get really cold, so I use to put a big duvet down on the floor in the mornings for Alice to play on, and get out some of her toys. I used to hate that house so much. I still do really. But it was all we could afford.
Things were simpler though. And I don't know if it's because it's just because it's harder with two children, but things felt so much calmer. And... dare I say it... happier? We didn't have money to just go and buy a new toy at the weekend. We didn't have the money for lots of days out to fun places. Or unlimited ice cream. Or for anything much really. But we were sort of happier. There was one box of toys and Alice would love them all, and cry her eyes out if one got broken or if I tried to replace one. We didn't have as much as we do now, but in a way, we had so much more.
I don't know when we became so... sloppy. So fixated on material good, but I'm ashamed to say, we have. Christmas and Birthdays are all about what the buy our kids. Moving house was less about the size of it, and more about what new stuff we could buy for it. The first thing I did yesterday, on the first day of the summer holidays, was browse amazon for new garden toys and books.
Does it make me happy when I get that parcel in the post? For about a minute, yes. Does it make the kids happy? For about a minute, sure. But you know what they always want? That costs nothing. Me. My time. For me to get down and play with them. They don't care what it is! Just as long as I'm there. And honestly somewhere along the way, I just lost sight of that fact!
So I'm making a change. To spend less, to declutter, and to get down on the floor and play more. To do more with my children and to give them the thing that I was always so desperate to give them from the moment they were both born... happy childhood memories.
Who's with me?!